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What I Deserve

 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
We are our own best and harshest  judges.
We set expectations for ourselves and kick ourselves for not meeting them.
But we're  easy on ourselves as well.
We shrug and decide there's always another day.

But what about when someone else rips us apart?
Or tells us we're wrong?
Or is just plain cruel?
Do we take it?  
Do we believe it? 
Because we deserve it.

Where did this "I deserve this" stuff come from?
Really what do we deserve?  
Do we deserve to be hurt? 
Do we deserve to be loved?
Do we deserve to have someone care for us?
When someone reaches out and cares do we push them away because we are  wearing this "I don't deserve love" cloak?
If we take on life from "what I deserve" point of view are we really believing that we are new creatures in Christ?

The other day I watched someone tear into a whole group of people with words.  Some of the group hated it and some of the group were uncomfortable because it was so raw.  And some were incredibly hurt.  And It made me think about how we wear our "deserve" mentality.  And I think some of the group actually believed what was said to them about themselves.  They probably didn't want to but its there.  It took me a week or two before I realized that I actually forget what God says about me and I actually start to believe the negatives that come to me by way of just being human and living.  Life does this.  But.

There is a better way.  

Jesus says He is the way the Truth and the Life.  And God says to be renewed in our minds. 
And We are a His workmanship created in Christ Jesus.  We aren't what we think we deserve.  Jesus did all the things.  It's enough and finished and good.  So now what do we deserve?  

Anyone who calls on the Name of Lord shall be saved.
Ye are of God, little children, and have OVERCOME them.
Greater is He that is in you than, he that is in the world.
And.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Father of MERCIES and God of COMFORT.
Who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we 
WILL BE ABLE to comfort and encourage those who
are in any kind of trouble,
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2Cor.1:3,4

I guess, I'm beginning to understand that although perhaps we do deserve to be 
trashed, that, that isn't really what God had in mind when he set up this redemption plan through Jesus.  Now I can't look at my fellow human without realizing that we are just sinners saved by Grace.  Love is all I have left.  




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