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If I Could Explain


If I could explain life in a few short words.
If I could make sense of the ins and outs of all the emotions and 
life things that happen.
If I could give my kids all the opportunities.
If I could keep everyone I love from getting broken.

Then!  Then I would be God.
And then I wouldn't know the deep choking 
aching joy that life brings.
I wouldn't know the deep crevices and ravines that hold 
all the secrets way deep where the life changing things happen.
I wouldn't get the gift of the amazing golden fall days.
I wouldn't get to catch that two minutes of the sunset on the plains.

Because then I would be the creator of those things.
And would know the outcome.
And I would have the responsibility to hold 
the whole world in my hand.

And my hands aren't big enough.
And I love to know the deep ache of joy.
The secrets in the crannies....the surprises that God hides deep in an experience.
I love experiencing the redemption of Jesus in my life.
I love knowing God sent Jesus to heal my broken.
And Jesus prayed for me way back when....2000 years ago.

I love that it's not if  I feel pain or get taken advantage of 
but it's when. 
And it's When that I know God's got His power going 
in my life.

I see that power every single day.
In that sunset on the plains.
In the golden harvest days.
In my five year olds eyes.
In my teenager's  black  eyes too.

I think I know a love and joy so abundant 
and good. 
Because God.

I don't need to explain.
Or fix.
Just live. And breathe. And experience.



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