This and That.....

Life has been going along here.  I've been reading some interesting posts lately. 

Lisl's Post  Is one that I would like every older experienced women to read and answer honestly about their short comings and victories and why's and wherefores.  I liked some of the comments on that post also. For myself I think the baby stage of life is a hard stage. And it's a stage where we see how terribly selfish we are.  And it's a time of life where we loose so much sleep so some times things look bigger than they are.  And one person I was talking with said that perhaps we young wives /mothers have an elevated view of ourselves and what we think our husbands expect of us.  When really God has called us in this time to the mundane task of day to day child training and babies and to think of it as THIS is where God wants us.   Also I've been talking with Matt about this too and in his logical way he tells me that working together as a team is important and that really our first priority IS our family (he and I working together for our family).  And as for him out there moving mountains and me just puddling along here is a warped view....he's doing his part; I'm doing mine.  So that's kind of freeing too.  And then ideally we actually get time to get up to date with each other now and then and make sure our goals are still the same and all that! :)

smilesbymiles post   Was a balm to my soul.  I loved the photography to go along with the words.  She has such a good ability to write words.  But the things she said about grief are the things that I've found about grief too.  This sounds silly to most people but there is one person who has said they've done the same thing.....I find myself looking around for my missing baby.  I will have all three boys with me and we're doing a project or having a good family time and I almost so many times ask Zerrick where the baby is or look up and say something about who's missing...where's ? And then I look and we're all here....but there is this another person missing feeling in me.  Some days it happens all day and some days not at all.  My brother Norvan says this feeling stopped happening for him when their little Elle was born.  I wonder when/if my "little Elle" would make so this feeling stop?   So anyhow,  grief gets you at the oddest times and in the most varied ways.  And there are other griefs right now in life too.....And I hope that these things are only making me sweeter and learning learning to trust in my Saviour.
 
Other things that have been food for thought and food for my soul.  Last Sunday we started our new Sunday School teacher round.  Our new teacher is an older lady!!!  YES!!!  Our lesson was about creation.  She reminded me about that God created us for His glory / for relationship/ with souls, unlike animals.  But it was good to remember again.  This desire in me for relationship is God given.  And needs to be God directed.  And then after that relationships here can happen more healthily!   And then the sermon afterward was about Love.  And it just was a great continuation of the SS lesson....   I was hungry for a reminder about God's love and how it relates to my life.  In my little world of sticking to it and being tough and hanging on for dear life, I needed to hear this stuff again.
 
I was reading The Book of Virtues again this week.  There is a wealth of interesting stories in that book.  There are some wonderful little poems in there too about boys growing up into honest gentlemen.  I'm going to print big pages of these poems and put them here in and there in our school room. 

About homeschooling.  I was asking on a mommy forum for the more experienced home school moms to tell us about how they handle the frustrations of juggling house/ wife/ and childtraining and schooling.  Here's what one lady wrote:
Homeschooling is HARD, I agree. There is no doubt about it. It's driven me "to my knees" so many times being overwhelmed with seemingly not enough energy and a messy house to boot . . . I guess the bright side is that I am ever desperate for God's guidance and provision . . . I have to lean on Him HARD . . . Some things in life we can't control like having cancer or other health issues. I guess we could send our children to public school, but we choose not to and so I "stay on the alter" of giving up my ideals of perfection in housekeeping and rather focusing on the things that are not seen, the eternal of teaching and training my children and counting them as blessings and staying peaceful and serene as a daughter of the King . . .

I too have had too many arguments with my growing sons (mostly my 10 year old) and I don't think it's right, but somehow we end up doing it - I've taken to calling up my husband whenever this happens anymore and letting him help us through whatever it is we are discussing (mostly for backup because I often feel threated in my authority role as teacher and mom at these times).

And yes, I agree also that homeschooling while having preschoolers and babies is not the ideal . . . I live in that reality and wish things could be different . . . And I long for you younger moms to "enjoy" life more as I know just how d.i.f.f.c.u.l.t. it can be, because I've been there and still am . . . 

So that coming from a mother of many children who has seen her share of grief makes me want to sit up and take notice.  

Remember my post on  Prayer?
I really loved reading the comments on that post.....

So that's all the media in my life lately.   And now today I wish I had a good ole novel to read....but I don't and I have lots of work to do anyhow.     One of the biggest things I crave lately is just three hours where I wouldn't have to be responsible for another soul.  Where I could read and drink coffee for as long as I wished or where I could sleep for as long as I wished, or anything that would include being responsible free for just a little window of time.  But I always come back to longing for my babies and my man...wanting to build relationships once again!