It's 2018. I don't have any New Years resolutions. I actually don't get a kick out of resolutions.
I've discovered that my goals and resolutions don't come to me at New Year's necessarily, but more as a matter of needing to make a change in a habit or way of thinking. And this can happen any time of the year.
So what makes a resolution work? How bad you want it? How bad you need it? Or how much you've repented of that thing that you want to change?
I really don't know. So I've come to a epiphany [a moment of sudden revelation or insight.]. My resolution this year is to create health and happiness in my home and in my own person.
Since I love people and noise and busyness I draw energy from them as long as I'm getting feed back. But when you put yourself out there, you're liable to get too much feed back. When you're strong and rooted the feedback feels good. You learn from the the negative and you gain from the feedback. But when you're worn in your faith and your hope is tired the feedback can feel negative and so that's when you stop hopping around on the extrovert perch and stop chirping and just crawl back under His Wings. But while you're there. Don't doubt. Soak in God's wondrous love. Get your footing again.
So my resolution per se is to regain my footing. Being a busy home school mom and a wife to my good Man. Those hats have worn me. I am weary. And I've forgotten to take care of my own person. So relearning to take care of myself and grow strong again is my New Year's resolution.
~ I'm so hungry for time to read. Especially time to read and study my Bible. But also to read books. I'm tired of short articles and blogs. I want to read whole books of whole other different lives than mine. Something to grow my perspective.
~ I'm ready to move. I want to keep up with my growing boys. Maybe that's too far fetched. But I surely can get strong enough to play soccer with the kids again. I don't need to be in perfect shape. I am forty you know. But energy. I want energy..... So taking time to rebuild what I've lost in the last ten years of mommydom.
~ Reach out. But not the way of before. I love people. And unabashedly so. But now I'm empty. So maybe God brought me to this place to learn how to reach out in a better way.
~ Understanding Jesus. This is one thing I find I can't explain. I wonder if that was why Jesus told so many people to go and tell no man about what He had done. Maybe He needs us all to experience Jesus. But with Jesus, I've found so much comfort in going on and not living in the mud puddle of regret. I no longer need to explain myself to everyone. What I am doesn't matter or for that matter what people think I am, doesn't matter so much as what Jesus is in me. Sigh, I so badly WISH I had words for this glorious truth. May you find it yourself. It's available. It's good.
~ Maintain. We've been blessed with so much. Healthy good bright kids. Warm comfortable house. Six acres to live on. I want no more. Maybe even less. But what I have I want to maintain and use the best and most practical way. It's so easy to acquire so much. And then it takes so much energy to have all this stuff. So I want it simple and useful or out the door. I want clean and clear spaces. And I even want beauty around me. But NOT stuff. Even the dinged up walls and worn linoleum don't bug me. I think I had become so tired and now I'm beginning to get better so I'm being able to see how to Maintain better. It's a real high. And I hope to stay on it.
~ This has been my journey. And is my journey. Blessings.
I've discovered that my goals and resolutions don't come to me at New Year's necessarily, but more as a matter of needing to make a change in a habit or way of thinking. And this can happen any time of the year.
So what makes a resolution work? How bad you want it? How bad you need it? Or how much you've repented of that thing that you want to change?
I really don't know. So I've come to a epiphany [a moment of sudden revelation or insight.]. My resolution this year is to create health and happiness in my home and in my own person.
Since I love people and noise and busyness I draw energy from them as long as I'm getting feed back. But when you put yourself out there, you're liable to get too much feed back. When you're strong and rooted the feedback feels good. You learn from the the negative and you gain from the feedback. But when you're worn in your faith and your hope is tired the feedback can feel negative and so that's when you stop hopping around on the extrovert perch and stop chirping and just crawl back under His Wings. But while you're there. Don't doubt. Soak in God's wondrous love. Get your footing again.
So my resolution per se is to regain my footing. Being a busy home school mom and a wife to my good Man. Those hats have worn me. I am weary. And I've forgotten to take care of my own person. So relearning to take care of myself and grow strong again is my New Year's resolution.
~ I'm so hungry for time to read. Especially time to read and study my Bible. But also to read books. I'm tired of short articles and blogs. I want to read whole books of whole other different lives than mine. Something to grow my perspective.
~ I'm ready to move. I want to keep up with my growing boys. Maybe that's too far fetched. But I surely can get strong enough to play soccer with the kids again. I don't need to be in perfect shape. I am forty you know. But energy. I want energy..... So taking time to rebuild what I've lost in the last ten years of mommydom.
~ Reach out. But not the way of before. I love people. And unabashedly so. But now I'm empty. So maybe God brought me to this place to learn how to reach out in a better way.
~ Understanding Jesus. This is one thing I find I can't explain. I wonder if that was why Jesus told so many people to go and tell no man about what He had done. Maybe He needs us all to experience Jesus. But with Jesus, I've found so much comfort in going on and not living in the mud puddle of regret. I no longer need to explain myself to everyone. What I am doesn't matter or for that matter what people think I am, doesn't matter so much as what Jesus is in me. Sigh, I so badly WISH I had words for this glorious truth. May you find it yourself. It's available. It's good.
~ Maintain. We've been blessed with so much. Healthy good bright kids. Warm comfortable house. Six acres to live on. I want no more. Maybe even less. But what I have I want to maintain and use the best and most practical way. It's so easy to acquire so much. And then it takes so much energy to have all this stuff. So I want it simple and useful or out the door. I want clean and clear spaces. And I even want beauty around me. But NOT stuff. Even the dinged up walls and worn linoleum don't bug me. I think I had become so tired and now I'm beginning to get better so I'm being able to see how to Maintain better. It's a real high. And I hope to stay on it.
~ This has been my journey. And is my journey. Blessings.
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