It's What's on My Heart

     What's on my heart today.  People.  Always people.  I love people.  

The ones who care.

The ones who are hurting.

The ones who can't get over their stuff and don't want to.

The ones who have decided enough of the stuff
and are digging deep and redeeming it.

The young ones who have so much hope.  

The young ones who want so much of life and
 are finding life too real for them right now.

The young ones who need a boundary but no one gives it.

I hurt because I see all the people.

And I want to fix it and make it better.

I have a knowing.

But I'm not snooping.

And I'm not judging.

I'm only aching.

And who am I?

I can't fix these things.

When I reach out to touch those things.

Am I reaching to tear down?

Am I reaching to gain approval?

Am I reaching because I really care?

Am I reaching because I have all the answers?

Am I reaching because I'm a control nut?

Or what about reaching because God will get the glory?

What if my reach makes it all go the wrong way?  

Most all of all.....

I'm not that big a deal.  

But God is!  

And I so want to give that Big DEAL to everyone!  

How can I best help?  

Prayer right now.  

But how will they feel the care if I don't say something?  

  Why would I think I could say the perfect thing to make it better?

God can do the perfect thing to make it better.  

I know that.

But I don't know it enough or 

I would pray over all the people better 

and stop stressing over them.

I lay awake at night and think.  And pray.

I'm sure I don't need to know the end result.

But since I have the ache in my heart that practically chokes me 

it must mean it's a big enough deal that I need to pray.

So pray I will. 

For the ones with real mental battles.

For the ones who want their marriages to thrive but are struggling.

For the ones who want to be under a mentor but don't know how to ask for one.

For the ones who know a change would break the fog but say "not yet".

For the worn out and defeated.

For the ones who don't feel heard or needed.

For wisdom.

For the ones who are reaching day and night that their strength can be renewed.

For the ones who weren't given tools to life but are made to appear perfect.

For me.